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When Your Way is the Right Way: The Methodology of Persuasion

Persuasion methodology | Bethesda psychotherapistTo be persuasive is an important skill that can help you get ahead — and make you happier — at work, at home, and in social situations, too. But that’s not all it’ll do: Learning the tricks of persuasion can also provide unique insight into how and when they’re being used on you.

Consider the following subconscious, but very persuasive techniques.

With these simple techniques, and a little practices, soon you’ll convince everyone around you that your way is the best way, and leave them wondering why they ever thought differently.

Use framing to influence thought.

Framing, put simply, is a way to change how we sort, categorize, associate, and assign meaning to events, objects, or behaviors. An example? A pessimistic person would say, “This glass is half empty.”, thus calling specific attention to the empty part of the glass, while an optimist uses language to point out the full portion of the glass.

There is where the power of framing as a tool for persuasion lies. The word you choose will conjure images that carry positive, negative, or neutral connotations, thus influencing how the person to whom your are speaking feels or thinks about a subject.

Use the mirroring technique.

This practice of mimicking the movements and body language of the person you are trying to persuade creates a sense of empathy; he or she will understand that you understand their problem or need, and will more readily accept the solution you have offered.

Mirror hand gestures; lean forward or away from the person; or mimic various head and arm movements. The truth is, we all do this naturally, and becoming aware of its power will only work the tool to your advantage. But take care to be subtle, so your actions won’t be seen as mocking.

Use herd behavior to influence a decision.

It’s the concept of herd behavior that you’ll find at play behind peer pressure, and herd behavior that caused your mom to say, “If So-and-So jumped off a bridge…” But when employed under just the right circumstances, this tactic has the invaluable power to position you as an effective leader.

Human beings as a species are observant; we watch what those around us do before deciding how to act ourselves, for no reason other than we crave acceptance. It’s for that reason that we are far more likely to follow or be persuaded by someone we like.

Be charming and confident; praise a leader the person whom you are trying to persuade admires; trigger positive thoughts in that person’s mind, and they’ll likely associate those same qualities with you.

To be persuasive is a skill that will help you get ahead and make you happy, and one that requires at least a basic knowledge of human psychology; for more information, and help influencing those around you, contact Bethesda, MD’s experienced psychotherapists at Keith Miller Counseling & Associates.

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Call 202-629-1949

Your Brain Deserves a Break This Summer: Take It & Be Mindful

Have a very relaxing summer vacation. Give your brain a break. Be mindful. | Washington DC psychotherapy

The kids are out of school, and pretty much everyone in the office is checked out. It’s vacation season. Nearly half (45 percent) of all Americans who vacation do so in the summer months, July more specifically. To Florida or California, DC or New York, the Caribbean Islands or Europe: We go on vacation to escape, to find a new set of scenes to look upon for a week or more.

We go on vacation because we think that’ll make us happy, but does it really?

Yes.

Well… kind of.

The research indicates that people are happiest while planning, or in anticipation of their vacations, more so than while on or after vacation. But of course there is an exception. The only people who have been found to be happier after vacation are those who can describe their time away as “very relaxing.” That’s the way.

Take a “very relaxing” vacation to maximize happiness all year round.

The secret to a very relaxing vacation isn’t traveling to a specific location, or staying at the most luxurious resorts; no, that very relaxing vacation destination isn’t a destination at all, but a mindset. Mindfulness.

Defined as “a moment to moment awareness of one’s experience without judgment,” mindfulness enhances the capability of memory; it increases your ability to focus, and lessens emotional reactivity; mindfulness also helps make the practitioner more open to change and increases relationship satisfaction.

Take mindfulness on vacation with you.

Vacation is fun, sure, but there’s a reason the majority of us feel more excited and happier before departing. That’s because vacation is also stressful. But if you start now, the practice of mindfulness can mean the difference between feeling stressed and being happy, by keeping you aware of your environment moment-to-moment.

So on this vacation this summer, truly give your brain a break.

Put down your iPhone (or at the very least, turn off your work email). Take a long walk along the shoreline. Do a little yoga. Meditate, or sketch. Try, or do something new. Simply close your eyes and let your senses be overwhelmed by the world around you.

Allow yourself the time, the space and the mental clarity to take in the richness of a new and different environment; and you’ll find the key to being happy, happier, and happiest before, during, and after vacation.

SCHEDULE A FREE CONSULTATION

Call 202-629-1949

How To Tell If You’re Experiencing An Anxiety Attack in Washington DC

Worried woman: Psychotherapy for anxietyAnxiety (or panic) attacks are — well — they’re awful.

Anxiety attacks are periods of intense anxiety, or panic that often occur suddenly, and with no warning. They affect the mind, but more so the body, and can cause extreme fear for the sufferer — especially those who’ve never before experienced such a thing — as the symptoms mimic those of other, more severe maladies.

What is an anxiety attack?

To use the more technical term, a panic attack can be best described as severe dread or distress, often attended by painful physical symptoms that can include dizziness, sweating, a racing heart, chest pain, shaking, or numbness. And then there’s what’s going on inside the mind.

A typical anxiety attack will last five to 10 minutes, during which the sufferer will experience extreme thoughts that might lead them to believe they are going crazy, or that they’re dying — none of which is true.

What causes an anxiety attack?

Stress. Remember, last week, when we talked about stress, its effects on the body, and the subsequent ‘fight or flight’ response? The same concept applies here. Stress can lead to panic, which leads to a chemical reaction in the body, which leads to feelings of anxiety and apprehension.

Panic attacks often seem to come out of nowhere, but they can be triggered: By a lack of sleep; by traumatic life events, such as loss; by drugs, alcohol, or caffeine; or by specific chemical and hormonal imbalances.

If you believe you may be experiencing an anxiety attack, take a deep breath, and know that anxiety attacks are highly treatable.

take our anxiety quizSince most symptoms of a panic attack mirror those of a heart attack, most first-time sufferers end up in the emergency room. It’s always a good idea to rule out any physical conditions that might be causing the symptoms of an anxiety attack. Once you’ve determined that what you experienced in Washington DC really was a panic attack, a few simple lifestyle changes — such as adequate sleep, exercise, and the basic skills of mindfulness (detailed below) for as little as 10 minutes per day — will greatly reduce the severity of, or eliminate panic attacks altogether.

What is the best way to treat an anxiety attack?

The physiology of stopping an anxiety attack is incredibly simple yet profoundly elusive in a moment of panic. The scientific reason for a panic attack is this: Your brain and body’s natural defense system — the stress response — shifts into high gear.

See? Simple. Yet complicated.

If you were running away from your neighbor’s pit bull, the major stress chemicals, adrenaline and cortisol, would be needed to help you leap over the chain-link fence fast enough to avoid a nip from the dog. If you were a zebra, once the threat was gone you would mindlessly resume your activities of munching grass.

Zebras don’t get ulcers (or have panic attacks), because they have no prefrontal cortex — that part of the human brain which imagines or re-lives the experience of stress. When your thinking cortex hasn’t hijacked your body, your parasympathetic nervous system naturally kicks in, to soothe and calm your body with just the right cocktail of chemicals.

This is called the relaxation response.

The solution to a panic attack is already inside of you.

Comforted yet? We’re getting there.

You are not defective; your mind and body are not betraying you.

In fact, the opposite is true. Your mind and body are functioning perfectly during a panic attack — perfectly in response to stress, real or imagined.

Researchers and psychotherapists in Washington DC have uncovered the antidote to disorders of the mind and body caused by anxiety and fear:

A simple skill called mindfulness.

How simple is mindfulness? In the most basic form, mindfulness is the focusing of your attention with the goal of diminishing simulation.

To enhance the effect of mindfulness and engage your relaxation response fully, deepen and slow your exhalation and pull your next breath in deeply using rise of your belly to expand the bottom lobes of your lungs. For eight breaths focus only on the sounds of your breath, the feeling of your belly rising and the sensations everywhere in your body — without judgment or analysis.

Simply begin to notice what you are feeling.

Eventually your mind will quiet itself, and begin to wander less. Through the practice of mindfulness, you will learn how to not jump on the endless freight train of thoughts produced by your wonderful and imaginative neocortex, so you can remain still, calm and at peace.

Have panic attacks become a frequent, maybe even debilitating part of your life?

You may have panic disorder — and you’re not alone. Nearly six million American adults suffer from panic disorder. One of Washington DC’s leading psychotherapy and anxiety counseling practices, Keith Miller Counseling & Associates, can help you unlock the potential of your mind and body’s relaxation response.

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Call 202-629-1949

Engage in Mindfulness in Washington DC. Disengage from Stress & Anxiety.

HappinessWhen someone mentions ‘the city that never sleeps’, you think of New York City, right? Of course you do. A nickname coined, and made famous by the Martin Scorsese film New York, New York (and with a little help from Frank Sinatra), it’s one that could just as easily be used to describe, well, the world these days. Everywhere I turn, there are lights flashing, and sounds sounding; and everyone is rushing.

It’s really no wonder more and more Americans are struggling with feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression. But I’m here to tell you there is a way out.

You can surmount these feelings of angst, and it may be easier than you think.

How?

Exchange mindlessness for mindfulness in Washington DC.

Mindfulness is, as defined by the expert on the matter — the American Mindfulness Research Association — the “state, process and practice of remembering to observe moment-to-moment experience with openness and without automatic patterns of previously conditioned thoughts, emotions or behaviors.”

The practice, or process of achieving mindfulness usually involves meditation, and has been shown to offer a variety of health benefits, including improved sleep and decreased anxiety. But mindfulness is a practice. To reap the rewards, you must set aside time every day; forgo a bit of productivity and practice being mindful, not mindless.

Press the pause button.

When I mentioned forgoing productivity, you twitched a little, didn’t you? We’re all so busy, and so busy trying to be so productive, we’re largely forgotten what it means to just be… still.

Mindfulness doesn’t require hours of your time to be beneficial. In fact, the best piece of advice I can give you is this: Start small. Set aside a few minutes at the start of every day to reflect on the bigger picture that is your life, and to be grateful, and calm.

Eat mindfully.

It’s true what you hear, that foods high in fat and sugar can have a negative impact on your emotions and well-being. When you choose to eat healthy instead, you’ll have chosen to power your mind, as well as your body.

Healthy eating is a start, but it’s eating mindfully is about more than food:

Turn the television off; put your laptop away, skip the trip to the Beauty Salon. Think instead about the meal in front of you, and the flavors. Savor each bite, and truly give thanks to the food, and all who took care to bring it to your plate.

Be mindful of others.

The practice of mindfulness may be a solitary, introspective one, but as you embrace the stillness and the calm, know that time spent improving your inner self will also improve the way you interact with those around you.

Think of the ones you love; thank the ones you love; help, and give to the ones you love. And soon you’ll find yourself refreshed, newly engaged, and mindful.

Keith Miller Counseling can help you be more mindful in Washington DC.

Contact Keith Miller Counseling & Associates today, and let’s discuss how psychotherapy in Washington DC can help unburden you from stress, anxiety, and depression, and feel more mindful in the process.

SCHEDULE A FREE CONSULTATION

Call 202-629-1949

Montgomery County Counseling Services

Montgomery County counseling services are available to address a variety of individual, couples and family problems. If you are struggling with emotional problems, relationship issues or substance abuse, located in Bethesda Maryland, Montgomery County counseling services can help.

Montgomery County counseling
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Counseling to Combat Depression

Depression is a very treatable condition, but many people go undiagnosed and untreated for years. Depression can happen to anyone at any point during their life.  It can affect a person’s relationships, occupation, and leisure time activities.

Seek help by meeting with a trained mental health professional.  Montgomery county counseling services can help reduce your depression with a variety of counseling techniques.

Montgomery County Counseling to Address Anxiety

Anxiety comes in many forms. While some people experience panic attacks or a general sense of anxiety much of the time, others have anxiety related to a past trauma. However, talk therapy can be a great way to learn how to manage your anxiety.

Unfortunately, without treatment, anxiety can get worse over time. Montgomery County counseling can help you get your life back on track. Learn how to manage your anxiety and reduce your symptoms.

Counseling for Relationship Issues

Relationship problems can take a big toll on your life. However, Montgomery County counseling services can help improve the quality of your relationship.

Bethesda Couples Counseling can help you learn how to resolve conflict successfully. It can also help improve your emotional and physical intimacy. Counseling can help you get the spark back in your relationship, even when you think there’s no hope.

If you’re not sure whether or not you need counseling, speak to a counselor that offers Montgomery County counseling services. A counselor can provide you with information about available services and treatment options.

Call now and we’ll help match you with the right counselor:

202-629-1949 ext. 0 

KeithMillermap

Montgomery County Counseling Services

Practical/Experiential Therapy for Couples (PET-C) with Brent Atkinson

For about two years now I’ve been hearing and learning about a kind of systematic couples therapy that is sophisticated enough to work with the many facets of struggle that face the couples in crisis in our practice. In particular, I have thought much about what are the best ways to equip our practice to deal with the “treatment resistance” we see in some couples, no matter what brand of couples therapy we are using.

As I compare some of the benefits of the many great couples trainings that exist, I have been very impressed with Practical/Experiential Therapy for Couples (PET-C). PET-C gleans from a comprehensive knowledge of interpersonal neurobiology and uses of experiential therapy to training couples in the behaviors needed to have a successful relationship. BrentAtkinson is the developer of this model, which seems to package the work of the Gottmans, Harville Hendrix, Sue Johnson, Dick Schwartz plus the many neurobiology advances all into a rather neat experiential protocol.

His model, and the focus of this training, is explained in the book, Emotional Intelligence in Couples Therapy: Advances from Neurobiology and the Science of Intimate Relationships (2005), which I highly recommend for any couples therapist.

I think this article by Brent speaks for the appeal of PET-C to give you some sharp tools in your couples tool-bag.

I am excited to announce that Keith Miller & Associates Counseling is planning to host Brent coming to the DC area to present his 5 day intensive training for our staff and all others interested. The limit on registrations is 30 people.

Click here to see a description of the material covered in this training.

The dates of the training will be May 3-5 (Fri, Sat and Sun) and Sept 7-8 (Sat and Sun). Each day consists of 6 hours of instruction plus breaks.

The cost of the 5 day training is $869.

Normally to take Brent’s training is $1100 per person and only offered in Chicago. Travel and accommodations would easily tack on another $1K+ for a total cost of over $2000. The value for getting this amazing couples training in DC is a real deal! In addition Brent’s Chicago training is usually 5 days all at once. We will have the chance to break up the learning, practice, and come together again to fine-tune.

The deadline for registering with me (with payment) is March 29th.

SUMMARY:

WHAT: Brent Atkinson’s 5 day intensive Practical/Experiential Therapy for Couples (PET-C)
WHEN: May 3-5 and Sept 7-8 (approximately 9am-5pm)
WHERE: Holiday Inn
15101 Sweitzer Lane
Laurel, MD 20707
COST: $869
REGISTRATION DEADLINE: March 29, 2013
CE’s PROVIDED: 30 hrs for social workers, professional counselors psychologists ($8 for NASW members and $12 non-members)

CANCELLATION POLICY:

*Cancellations before March 29 shall be refunded in full.
*After March 29th the registration fee is non-refundable.

CONTACT:

Keith Miller
[email protected]
202-629-1949 ext. 2

Dealing with Jealousy in a Relationship

marriage counseling DCContrary to popular belief, jealousy is not a sign of insecurity or weakness. It can also be the way in which people express love. If you are in a relationship, you will inevitably have to deal with and overcome jealousy. However, handling such feelings in a relationship is not an easy task. Jealousy can become an intense feeling and confuse your partner into believing that your relationship is threatened and unstable. If you feel threatened about your relationship due to jealousy, consulting a marriage counseling DC therapist can be a good idea. Continue reading “Dealing with Jealousy in a Relationship”

How to Deal with Aggressive Behavior within the Family?

Family TherapyAggressive behavior might lead to several problems in life. Such behavior can manifest in a person due to various reasons like heredity, unpleasant childhood, and exposure to unpleasant events. Though certain level of aggressive behavior is crucial to defend ourselves, it should not reach an extent where you harm others. Aggression is a very common problem in several families. To control your aggressive behavior, going to a DC family therapist can be helpful. Continue reading “How to Deal with Aggressive Behavior within the Family?”

How to Deal With Rejection in a Relationship?

Rejection in a RelationshipRejection is one of the toughest challenges to an individual’s self-esteem, especially when it happens in an intimate relationship. The hard feelings, bad behavior and misconceptions that embrace rejection could create deep wounds if the other person in the relationship does not respect you. Continue reading “How to Deal With Rejection in a Relationship?”

Dealing with Loneliness

LonelinessAll of us feel lonely at some or the other point in our lives. Loneliness is basically a feeling of hollowness or emptiness. At times, you may feel separated or isolated from the society and the people whom you were in contact with. Loneliness can become a major problem for people who have been oppressed because of their looks or weaknesses. They might feel deserted and depressed as the society does not accept them as they are. So, to cope up with such issues without getting depressed, counseling DC becomes important. Continue reading “Dealing with Loneliness”

Our fees are between $200-$400 for 50 minutes, depending on your counselor. We do not accept insurance, meaning we are not "in-network" with any health plans.
However, many of our clients submit claims to their out-of-network health insurance and receive 40-60% reimbursement.