Washington DC Anger Management
There’s no human alive that isn’t capable of anger. We feel and/or express disappointment and frustration when something plays out differently then we had expected. You fully expected to win, but your team loses. You drop the glass and don’t have time to clean up the mess.
There is no moral judgement about your anger. It’s neither good or bad. We can explain the importance of this in our anger management counseling.It’s what follows after our bout with anger that makes the difference.
How we view it and how it makes us feel can become charged with either a positive or a negative moral value.
Anger Management for Different Kinds of Anger
This doesn’t have to cause problems and can actually be turned into catalyst and motivate one towards positive change. If we give our anger a channel in which it can flow freely it can be resolved into some other form. This kind of anger motivates and energizes us to do better and internally feels positive to us. This kind of anger doesn’t need to overwhelm us if we recognize it and learn how to channel it properly. Anger management therapy can teach this approach.
This is another kind of anger in which can be very problematic. Burdened anger can feel the same physiologically as flexible anger in terms of the way it feels, but it tends to most often leave a wake of damage: to relationships, opportunities, objects, and people. Anger management counseling can greatly help those who suffer from burdened anger.
Burdened anger occurs when the spontaneous surge of anger or frustration triggers an internal drop in self-value. Your team loses, you feel defeated, you believe you’re defeated, then you act defeated. Then the cycle repeats and intensifies each time. The burden is the middle part of the cycle, the belief, which is usually about feeling doomed, hopeless, or inadequate. The belief of worthlessness acts to pull toward it all of the energy generated by the frustration in an inward avalanche. Like an electrical short-circuit, the energy has no place to go inside the person (unless it were to literally destroy or harm him/herself), so most people naturally self-protect and explode the energy outward toward anyone or anything nearby. When this happens people naturally turn to traditional anger management.
The Limits of Anger Management Approaches
Anger management teaches techniques to manage the emotional feelings and physiological arousal of anger. It can be useful to the extent that some portion of your anger is flexible and does not trigger a critical mass of internal feelings of worthlessness or self-devaluing. If you feel unlovable when your spouse forgets something important to you, inadequate when you make the wrong turn on the highway, or devalued when your co-worker succeeds, then trying to manage your physiological arousal will feel like trying to hold back a fire hydrant with a wine-bottle cork.
Transforming Anger, Not Just Anger Management
“If we become angry at our anger, we will have two angers at the same time.”
-Thich Nhact Hahn
The following are areas involving anger that can improve greatly with Self-Leadership, or Internal Family Systems Therapy (it’s actually not family therapy), and our approach to anger management.
- Expression of anger or anger avoidance interferes with your relationship
- You or others are afraid of your anger
- You don’t understand why you feel angry sometimes
- You have missed career opportunities because of your anger in the workplace
- Anger while driving or road rage is a normal part of your driving habits
- You feel exhausted at trying to hide and protect others from your anger
- You feel embarrassed by the things you do when you feel angry
- You find yourself abusing alcohol or drugs because it helps you contain your anger or because it helps you express your anger. These are common areas addressed with anger management.
- You want to make more decisions that are in-line with your values and not because of anger
- People important to you respond negatively to your anger
Do you have anger or does anger have you?
If you want to stop anger from controlling your life we can help you do that. It is possible to do this in a way that respects you, goes at the best pace for you, and is not a one-size-fits-all approach like many kinds of anger management.
Office Locations for anger management counseling:
Washington DC Anger Management & Bethesda Anger Management