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TIPS FOR REDUCING STRESS
by Dawn J. Lipthrott, LCSW
(Published here with permission from the author, found at www.relationshipjourney.com)
Most of us today experience stress in a variety of forms and intensities. Some stress can actually work in a positive way to motivate us and give us energy. However, too much stress, or certain types of stress have negative effects that usually impact many, if not all, aspects of our lives. Stress is primarily an opportunity to take stock of your current life situation and choose to change one or more things. Here are 34 things you might do help reduce the negative effects of stress.
1. Don't be afraid of stress. Learn to notice it and name it for what it is. It brings you messages and opportunities!
2. One way to look at it is as a message to you to ask yourself:
What is this trying to tell me about my priorities in life right now?
What does this suggest about balance (body, mind, spirit, earning a living, material, together time, alone time, etc.) Where do I need more / less attention and time?
What message might this bring about the way I interact with people at work, home, etc.?
What messages do I tell myself that contribute to my stress?
What other messages /lessons are in it for me at this time?
3. Set realistic goals.
4. Realize that everyone makes mistakes and that you cannot do everything perfectly all the time (and neither can your boss, employees, co-workers, spouse or children!)
5. Set priorities, and then take one thing at a time. Do one thing, and when you finish that, do the next.
6. Read Stephen Covey's book: First Things First for great info on setting priorities, learning a way of time management that is simple and effective, and learn how to prioritize according to your personal and organizational vision. (Also tells you how to create your vision)
7. Talk over a stressful situation with someone you trust.
8. Have a good cry -- science says that tears actually get rid of chemicals in body created by stress!
9. Keep out alot of the "shoulds", "oughts" "have to" phrases in your internal and external speaking.
10. When you notice yourself putting yourself or someone else down, "awfulizing" things, etc, say "STOP" and say, "this is not true because. . ." (find at least 1 reason why it's not totally true)
11. If you find yourself reacting to feedback from others, tell them the best way to give you suggestions and feedback. Criticism is never constructive. Specific suggestions, information, can be. (Supervisors: make sure you also let people know regularly when they are doing a good job!)
12. Eliminate blame and criticism.
13. Express appreciation of and to others.
14. Do something nice for someone else.
15. Use the basic Intentional Dialogue skills in stressful interpersonal situations:
Mirror: Say back the essence of what the other person is saying, using their words (outline form).
Express Understanding: Let them know it makes sense to you because. . . (This does not mean that you agree. You are simply trying to understand the situation from the other person's point of view, no matter how different it is from yours.)
Empathize: Guess how it might make them feel when whatever they are upset about happens.
(A more structured form of Intentional Dialogue is offered here. However, you can use the basic skills in a less formal way in work or social situations.)
16. Don't mind-read or expect others to guess what you want or think just like you do. Be clear and specific in your requests and instructions. Seek clarity from others.
17. Continually choose to create emotional "safety" for other people. (It will increase your own safety!)
18. Let others help you -- and tell them specific things they can do to help.
19. Keep a diary for a few weeks, noting stressful or frustrating situations, what happened, what you thought, what you felt, how you reacted. Look for patterns and underlying themes and then come up with at least 3 positive, specific and time-limited steps you can do to get what you need.
20. Find a "relaxation script" that you like (or create one) and USE it. (Progressively relaxes muscles groups, relaxing scenes, etc. Can usually find in books on relaxation or guided imagery. Also can buy tapes already made.)
21. Get a massage from a licensed massage therapist.
22. Use meditation, and / or creative visualization.
23. Eliminate or greatly reduce caffeine intake.
24. Get plenty of rest.
25. Take a vacation -- whether for 30 minutes, a day, a weekend, or more! Do nothing or do something you love and find relaxing.
26. Schedule time for yourself and make sure you keep the appointment! Make it a priority.
27. Exercise or do some physical activity. Move your body!
28. Simplify your life. Keep your responsibilities and obligations outside work and family to a minimum.
29. At work, set priorities, meet deadlines, and look for creative solutions to stressful situations.
30. Re-frame 'problems' into opportunities and lessons for growth. Re-frame negative situations into positive ones.
31. Laugh and have fun. Lighten up and spread it around.
32. Nurture yourself, treat yourself to something you like.
33. Nurture yourself spiritually, in whatever way is meaningful for you.
34. Remember that you have the power to co-create your life! No matter what the circumstance, you can still have power over the attitude you take towards it.
See our Resources for a Personal Growth links section
Copyright 1996 Dawn Lipthrott, Orlando, Florida
Copies of this article or parts thereof may be reproduced for personal use but must contain copyright information. Reproduction for financial gain is prohibited.
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